You’re fuckin‘ broke?! We are gonna change that fact!

005 – Creation?! Law of attraction?! WTF? What a fuckin‘ car? Mai 19, 2008

Dear visitor,

Becoming fellow sufferer,

Welcome at HaveNoMoney(dot)Com.

I am Julian B. Rich. My name is the only thing in my life making me rich.

Yes, I am very fuckin‘ broke at the moment. I fuckin‘ HaveNoMoney(dot)Com.

You are probably asking youself, why you are a „becoming fellow sufferer“! The answer is fuckin‘ easy my friend. Firstly you have the birthright to be a fuckin‘ looser. I feel it so deeply. You have the better abilities to fuck up really deeply. Congratulations my friend!

So, now coming back to main topic. I wanted to tell you something about creation.

I am reading a book about „The law of attraction“. The main message is that you are the only creator of your life. The thoughts you are thinink at the moment attract other thoughts working the same way. So you are creating cirumstances that fit to your thoughts.

After reading this book I was so fuckin‘ confident that it works. So I tried it out. I always wanted a new sports car. Now I was aware, that I could attract this car into my life. I could attract everything into my life, I wanted to have.

So I thought of a fuckin‘ new „Porsche Boxster“. Just the right size for me. I am not so fucked up sophisticated to must have a big car. I thought „Porsche Boxster“ must be enought.

So I went the very next day to the car dealer. It was a real fuckin‘ long way to go. But I was aware, that I would drive home with my new „Porsche Boxster“.

On the way to the car dealer I tried to control my thoughts: „You have a Porsche Boxster. You have a Porsche Boxster“.

Suddenly a voice took me out of my thoughts: „What can I do for you sir“!

„What the fuck“ I responded. „Oh you are the car dealer, isn’t it“? I smiled very fuckin‘ friendly.

I continued thinking: „You have a Porsche Boxster. You have a Porsche Boxster“.

„What can I do for you sir“ the car dealer asked again.

„What the fuck“, I replied. I want a „Porsche Boxster“, SIR.

„Yes, you do, isn’t it“ the car dealer replied.

„What’s about payment, SIR“ he continued, eyeballing me.

„What the fuck is going on with you“ I replied to him.

„I HaveNoMoney(dot)Com“.

„You HaveNoMoney(dot)Com SIR“? he asked.

„Yes I HaveNoMoney(dot)Com“ …

„Are you mad or something Sir“ he replied.

„What the fuck“ I said. „I want my Porsche“!!!

Now he seemed to understand by saying: „Oh, Sir, I see … please come, I will bring you to the car that you deserve to have.

„Here is your fuckin‘ car, you fuckin‘ idiot“.

„What the fuck“ I asked.

„You HaveNoMoney(dot)Com Sir“ he replied?

„Yes, you are right“. „But I am aware of the law of attraction“!

Suddenly he gave me a boot and yelled: „Hit the road you fuckin‘ looser“!

Come again, when you have 75.000 Dollars on your account! Otherwise you just attract my fist being punched at your nose!

Yes, you are thinking right. I ran very fast.

I didn’t know what was going on. The law of attraction failed.

Probably the law of rejection was still working for me.

Firstly me beloved girlfriend, who left me.

Secondly I lost all my money.

And now the Porsche.

Everything failed and I HaveNoMoney(dot)Com.

Now I go to sleep.

What the fuck.


004 – Fuck you, fuckin‘ money … Don’t need you and you! Mai 6, 2008

My former dear fellow sufferer,

Yes, you have read well. „Former fellow sufferer“.

„Why“? It’s very easy to explain it.

Because I said „Fuck you“. I still HaveNoMoney(dot)Com.

Ohhhh, no. Not to you.

I didn’t mean you.

At least I didn’t mean you only.

It’s very hard to speak out, but I also said „fuck you“ to all my money.

The point is, that two weeks ago I took some drugs. Suddenly I noticed the presence of god, noticed the voice of god.

And I thought „Oh man, that’s a great possibility to talk about the important things of life“

So I said to god: „What the …… what the fuck …….. is wrong with you ….. man.“

I went on with: „I HaveNoMoney(god) ….. ohhhm I HaveNoMoney(dot)Com god“.

„Where are you all the time“?

God answered to me: „Julian Be Rich don’t want to be rich any more“.

It was such a wonderful feeling. It touched me in such a emotional way, I can’t tell.

So replied: „What the hell is goin on“?

God said:“No, Julian Be Rich. It’s still heaven. Proofe it and give away all you money“.

So I decided to proof it to god. And I decided to give away all the money I had.

Then I walked through the city, having all the money with me. Willing to give it away. Willing to give all away.

And suddenly I saw him. It was a poor beggar kneeing on the street. Begging for money.

Yes, he has been chosen by me. So I went to him, taking out my leather purse.

I opened it, put out everything i had. It was really everything I had. I was seeing my own hand reaching out for his hand, giving him all the money.

An I said: „Man, you have been chosen“

„This Five Dollars are for you! Use it wisely my friend. Use it wisely“.

Suddenly the beggar stood up an shouted: „My ass!“ „You fuckin‘ peace of shit“.

I replied: „No, not me“ „You are talking about god“. Then I ran 🙂

One hour later I was at home again. In this moment I didn’t know, what was right, what was wrong.

Doing something that is right and in the end it’s wrong. I noticed for the first time, that it’s not good being good all the time. Same story with my former girlfriend. I was soo very good to her. Showed her all my love all the time. But she couldn’t deal with it.

I was very confused that evening.

And I am still confused.

What the fuck was going on.

I go to bed.

I HaveNoMoney(dot)Com


003 – It’s all about the money … and it sux ! April 4, 2008

Filed under: Diary — Julian B. Rich @ 12:13 am
Tags: , , , , ,

Hy dear fellow sufferer,

My name ist Julian B. Rich but I am very fuckin‘ poor.

I am gonna tell you something I’ve never told to anyone because it’s quite embarrassing.

The truth is, that I Have No Money Dot Com.

Two days ago I was very happy about the posting of my companion in misfortune.

A very poor guy, whose name is „smizz„. A fuckin‘ poor guy whose story is as sad as my own story.

A fuckin‘ poor guy, whose way is as hard as my own way.

Dear friend, my deepest sympathy for you. You need it as well as I do.

From now on my prayers for money will contain you my friend. God shall save your money.

. . .

I told you (no.001) that my girlfriend Janine asked me if I marry her. I can tell you that I was fuckin‘ proud.

I was proud of myself to withstand her nice offer.

So I answered: „Janine, I know that you love me. It’s so nice that you want to share all your money with me for the rest of your life“.

She seemed to be so very moved. Her eyes were glittering.

So I continued with my moving words: „You know about my feelings. It’s a very big step to merge two bank accounts to one“.

I recognized the tears which was running down her face. She seemed to be so very moved.

But I also thought, that I can’t just be emotional only. So I said to her: „It’s so very nice that you also give me sometimes your money. But I fear that you don’t have enough money to share with me all your life. And you know, that I Have No Money Dot Com.“

„Janine, I know about your deep feelings for me. I know that you love me. By the way, such a marriage is so very expensive. I cannot affort it.“

Suddenly she began to cry and shouted: „You fuckin‘ asshole“. Then she ran away.

I knew, that love hurts and yelled: „I hope we can stay friends. It’s such a good feeling to have someone’s money although it’s not enough for a marriage“.

Since her proposal of marriage there are 5 days gone. But I haven’t heared something from her.

It’s very scaring for me. Doesn’t she now about all my feelings?

Doesn’t she now that I Have No Money Dot Com?

No money dot comes to me. So I have to come to dot money.

Tomorrow I gonna meet my friend Pete who has some very good moneymaking ideas.

Stay tuned,


Julian B. Rich,

a fuckin‘ poor single



002 – Still fuckin‘ broke … März 31, 2008

Filed under: Diary — Julian B. Rich @ 8:01 pm
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My dear fellow sufferer,

My Name is Julian B. R.!

And I still Have No Money Dot Com.

Many people say, that I am fixated on money. But it isn’t true.

I don’t know if you know something about me. But I am fuckin‘ broke.

Sometimes, not often this lack of money is a real fuckin‘ problem.

I’ll give you an example.

Today I had a real cool job offer. All my problems seemed to become solved within a few hours.

So I took the bus to take a drive into the future. Suddenly somebody punched me out of my phantasies.

It was the bus driver who shouted: „Hey you fuckin‘ guy, what’s about the ticket“?

„Yes, that’s a really good question I thought“.

So I said: „Hey man, that’s a really good question. Congratulations, you are a very smart person“. So I moved on and took a seat.

„Hey man, are you fucked up, aren’t you“?

It was the bus driver again. „What’s about your bus ticket, it costs 15 Dollars“

But what the bus driver didn’t know was that I already had the right answer.

“ What the fuck“ I said to him!

„I Have No Money Dot Com„.

He stared at me with disbelief and shouted: „Are you mad or something“?

I replied: „No sir, I am not mad“! „I am fuckin‘ broke“.

„And I Have No Money Dot Com as well you have no brain dot com“!

Three hours later I woke up. I didn’t know what happened.

The only thing that I can tell you is that „Splitting Headache“ is no nice feeling!

The greater problem is: „I still Have No Money Dot Com“!!!

But there is also good news. My friend Pete has called me about 30 minutes ago. I told him about my money problems.

He answered „Your problems are my problems, Julian B.“.

I was so happy about that. „All my debts were cut into halves“, I thought.

„You want to assume my debts, you are such a good friend, Pete“.

„No, no, no“ he replied. His voice sound a little bit shivery.

„What the fuck“, I said.

„But I will tell you what you can do to get much more money“ he continued. Let’s meet on Friday.

„Not such a good friend as I thought“, I thought.

„Yes, lets meet on friday“ I answered a little bit disappointed.

But I am very curious about the things we are gonna talk about.

Stay tuned friends.


Julian B. R.



001 – What the fuck?!

Filed under: Diary — Julian B. Rich @ 2:00 am
Tags: , ,

My Dear Fellow Sufferer,

I see, it’s you again!

I guess: You’re still fuckin‘ broke, isn’t it? You still Have No Money Dot Com???

The bad news is: so am I

The good news is: I am not alone, because you are on my side!

Yippie Yeah!!!

By the way,

I am fuckin‘ proud because this is my first post in this blog.

I assume that you’re wondering that I haven’t written something within the last three days but now.

The good news is: I have earned 20 Dollars (=15 Euros) by playing cards.

The bad news is: I am still very fuckin‘ broke.

Back to topic. I haven’t been online these three days for a reason. The reason is, that I couldn’t affort the internet because I didn’t Have No Money dot Com to affort the internet costs.

So I was locked for these three hard fuckin‘ days until this reversal of fortune: This 20 Dollars I won by playing cards. It really was a special moment for me to win such a big sum. I cannot remember when I’ve won so much money in my life before.

I decided to put 10 Dollars to my bank account. Thanks to the other 10 Dollars I am able to write to you right now in this very fuckin‘ moment.

So let’s sum up:

We are still two. That’s good.

We are still broke. That’s bad.

. . .

We still Have No Money Dot Com.
But I am still motivated to go on this fuckin‘ hard way!

By the way: Yesterday I talked with my girlfriend. RED ALERT!!! Within next days I gonna tell you more.

So, I have to go to sleep. From time to time it’s very hard to sleep on the floor.

Good night,

Julian B. R.