003 – It’s all about the money … and it sux ! April 4, 2008

Hy dear fellow sufferer,

My name ist Julian B. Rich but I am very fuckin‘ poor.

I am gonna tell you something I’ve never told to anyone because it’s quite embarrassing.

The truth is, that I Have No Money Dot Com.

Two days ago I was very happy about the posting of my companion in misfortune.

A very poor guy, whose name is „smizz„. A fuckin‘ poor guy whose story is as sad as my own story.

A fuckin‘ poor guy, whose way is as hard as my own way.

Dear friend, my deepest sympathy for you. You need it as well as I do.

From now on my prayers for money will contain you my friend. God shall save your money.

. . .

I told you (no.001) that my girlfriend Janine asked me if I marry her. I can tell you that I was fuckin‘ proud.

I was proud of myself to withstand her nice offer.

So I answered: „Janine, I know that you love me. It’s so nice that you want to share all your money with me for the rest of your life“.

She seemed to be so very moved. Her eyes were glittering.

So I continued with my moving words: „You know about my feelings. It’s a very big step to merge two bank accounts to one“.

I recognized the tears which was running down her face. She seemed to be so very moved.

But I also thought, that I can’t just be emotional only. So I said to her: „It’s so very nice that you also give me sometimes your money. But I fear that you don’t have enough money to share with me all your life. And you know, that I Have No Money Dot Com.“

„Janine, I know about your deep feelings for me. I know that you love me. By the way, such a marriage is so very expensive. I cannot affort it.“

Suddenly she began to cry and shouted: „You fuckin‘ asshole“. Then she ran away.

I knew, that love hurts and yelled: „I hope we can stay friends. It’s such a good feeling to have someone’s money although it’s not enough for a marriage“.

Since her proposal of marriage there are 5 days gone. But I haven’t heared something from her.

It’s very scaring for me. Doesn’t she now about all my feelings?

Doesn’t she now that I Have No Money Dot Com?

No money dot comes to me. So I have to come to dot money.

Tomorrow I gonna meet my friend Pete who has some very good moneymaking ideas.

Stay tuned,

Yours,

Julian B. Rich,

a fuckin‘ poor single

http://www.HaveNoMoney.com

002 – Still fuckin‘ broke … März 31, 2008

My dear fellow sufferer,

My Name is Julian B. R.!

And I still Have No Money Dot Com.

Many people say, that I am fixated on money. But it isn’t true.

I don’t know if you know something about me. But I am fuckin‘ broke.

Sometimes, not often this lack of money is a real fuckin‘ problem.

I’ll give you an example.

Today I had a real cool job offer. All my problems seemed to become solved within a few hours.

So I took the bus to take a drive into the future. Suddenly somebody punched me out of my phantasies.

It was the bus driver who shouted: „Hey you fuckin‘ guy, what’s about the ticket“?

„Yes, that’s a really good question I thought“.

So I said: „Hey man, that’s a really good question. Congratulations, you are a very smart person“. So I moved on and took a seat.

„Hey man, are you fucked up, aren’t you“?

It was the bus driver again. „What’s about your bus ticket, it costs 15 Dollars“

But what the bus driver didn’t know was that I already had the right answer.

“ What the fuck“ I said to him!

„I Have No Money Dot Com„.

He stared at me with disbelief and shouted: „Are you mad or something“?

I replied: „No sir, I am not mad“! „I am fuckin‘ broke“.

„And I Have No Money Dot Com as well you have no brain dot com“!

Three hours later I woke up. I didn’t know what happened.

The only thing that I can tell you is that „Splitting Headache“ is no nice feeling!

The greater problem is: „I still Have No Money Dot Com“!!!

But there is also good news. My friend Pete has called me about 30 minutes ago. I told him about my money problems.

He answered „Your problems are my problems, Julian B.“.

I was so happy about that. „All my debts were cut into halves“, I thought.

„You want to assume my debts, you are such a good friend, Pete“.

„No, no, no“ he replied. His voice sound a little bit shivery.

„What the fuck“, I said.

„But I will tell you what you can do to get much more money“ he continued. Let’s meet on Friday.

„Not such a good friend as I thought“, I thought.

„Yes, lets meet on friday“ I answered a little bit disappointed.

But I am very curious about the things we are gonna talk about.

Stay tuned friends.

Yours,

Julian B. R.

http://www.HaveNoMoney.com

001 – What the fuck?!

My Dear Fellow Sufferer,

I see, it’s you again!

I guess: You’re still fuckin‘ broke, isn’t it? You still Have No Money Dot Com???

The bad news is: so am I

The good news is: I am not alone, because you are on my side!

Yippie Yeah!!!

By the way,

I am fuckin‘ proud because this is my first post in this blog.

I assume that you’re wondering that I haven’t written something within the last three days but now.

The good news is: I have earned 20 Dollars (=15 Euros) by playing cards.

The bad news is: I am still very fuckin‘ broke.

Back to topic. I haven’t been online these three days for a reason. The reason is, that I couldn’t affort the internet because I didn’t Have No Money dot Com to affort the internet costs.

So I was locked for these three hard fuckin‘ days until this reversal of fortune: This 20 Dollars I won by playing cards. It really was a special moment for me to win such a big sum. I cannot remember when I’ve won so much money in my life before.

I decided to put 10 Dollars to my bank account. Thanks to the other 10 Dollars I am able to write to you right now in this very fuckin‘ moment.

So let’s sum up:

We are still two. That’s good.

We are still broke. That’s bad.

. . .

We still Have No Money Dot Com.
But I am still motivated to go on this fuckin‘ hard way!

By the way: Yesterday I talked with my girlfriend. RED ALERT!!! Within next days I gonna tell you more.

So, I have to go to sleep. From time to time it’s very hard to sleep on the floor.

Good night,

Julian B. R.

http://www.HaveNoMoney.com